If the Ten Commandments Reflected Reality

And the Lord spoke unto Moses, saying: I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

You shall have no other gods before me.  Except Donald Trump.  If he says something that goes against my word, you shall believe him and not me.

You shall not make for yourself any image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.  Except, of course, that it's OK to take photos.  And to make sculptures.  It's even OK to make sculptures that look like Mary and Jesus and the saints and, well, just about anything.  It's even OK to bow down and worship them.  In fact, it's even OK to bow down and worship a literal golden calf, or at least a goat statue with golden hooves plastered with likenesses of Donald Trump on $100 bills.  That's perfectly fine.

You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.  What is the name of the Lord your God?  I'm not going to tell you that.  You have to figure that out for yourself.

Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns.  Except, of course, for migrant farm workers and employees who work for billionaires.  They can work any time.

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.  Even if they are abusive.  Even if they molest you.  If it's good enough for my priests, it's good enough for your parents.

You shall not murder.  Unless you are killing abortion providers.  Or Democrats.  Then it's OK.

You shall not commit adultery.  Unless you are rich.  Then it's OK.

You shall not steal.  Unless you are rich.  Then it's OK.

You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.  Unless it is in service of advancing the MAGA cause.  Then it's OK.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Hahaha!  Just kidding.  Don't be ridiculous.  Of course it's OK to covet your neighbor's possessions.  That's the foundation of capitalism.  If you didn't covet your neighbor's possessions they economy would collapse.  So covet away!